Starting tomorrow the entire history of Star Wars will be represented in the X-Wing Miniatures Game. Fantasy Flight Games will release Wave 3 of Second Edition on Thursday, finally giving us what we’ve always wanted: a re-release of the Scum Z-95.

Sike. The prequel factions are here! Woohoo! Or, boo! It depends on your relationship with Star Wars, really. With seven factions, the game can accommodate more kinds of fans than ever before. Not sure how to best express your love of the galaxy far far away on the tabletop? I’ve got you covered. To find the best list, you must you must first…find yourself.

1. Star Wars Normie

In short: You’ve loved the original trilogy since you were a kid. The prequels were bad, but you’re not losing sleep over it. You love The Force Awakens and got a kick out of the The Last Jedi, even though you think it was kind of a mess. You don’t re-watch the movies unless your kids want to. You have a waffle iron that cooks the dough in the shape of Yoda’s head.

Movie ranking: 5, 4, 6, 7, Rogue One, Solo, 8, 3, 1, 2

Favorite character: Han Solo

Go-to quote: “I’ve got a bad feeling about this!”

You should play: The Empire! You don’t need to learn a bunch of characters’ names: It’s Darth Vader and the cannon fodder in the TIE Fighters. You want a tabletop game that is challenging but has a classic Star Wars aesthetic. Nothing fits that description better than a TIE swarm.

2. Prequel Memer

In short: Hello there. You are a bold one. It can be hard sometimes to tell if you actually love the prequels or are making fun of them. But a thin veneer or ironic mocking belies a sincere love of the films that defined growing up in the ’00s. People who treat Star Wars with the seriousness of a religion will never appreciate the pure joy of watching a priest ride a dinosaur in pursuit of an asthmatic spider.

Movie ranking: 3, 2, 1

Favorite character: Obi-Wan Kenobi

Go-to quote: “This is where the fun begins.”

You should play: The Republic! You cried when Plo Koon stood up for his clones in the cartoon series. So slap battle meditation on those Jedi pilots and get to work. Hit the buzz droid center-eye!

3. Reylo Shipper

In short: The entire saga has been building up to the forbidden, star-crossed romance of no-name scavenger and a dark prince. J.J. Abrams teed it up and Rian Johnson hit it out of the park. Forget the naysayers who think they’re related: It’s all in the movie.

Movie ranking: 8, 7, Solo, 6, 2, Rogue One, 3, 4, 1, 5

Favorite character: Ben Solo with his shirt off

Go-to quote: “You’re not alone.”

You should play: The Resistance! Finn gunner and Rose crew are the first “ship” to involve in-game synergy. You can fly Poe with his adorable buddy BB-8. Admiral Holdo crew will be coming out in Wave 4 and ships from the Star Wars: Resistance TV show can’t be far behind.

4. Disney Hater

In short: Episode 7 was a derivative remake and Episode 8 was unwatchable. Disney is ruining Star Wars and you claim to have boycotted Solo. You hated the prequels until the sequels came out…now you realize George Lucas is a secret genius.

Movie ranking: 5, 4, 6, Rogue One (begrudgingly), 3, 1, 2, 7, 8

Favorite character: Luke Skywalker

Go-to quote: “No, I am your father.”

You should play: Scum & Villainy! Boba Fett is cool. Captain Phasma is a pale imitation. Remember when Star Wars characters just appeared and weren’t explained to death through overwrought exposition? Yea, the Scum faction is full of those guys.

5. Expanded Universe Purist

In short: Sometimes a subset of No. 4. But you’re not fanatically against Disney, it’s just not your canon. You fondly remember the Thrawn trilogy and are generally pleased to see old elements re-incorporated into the new stories wherever possible.

Movie ranking: actually, books

Favorite character: Mara Jade Skywalker

Go-to quote: “There are things in the universe that are simply and purely evil. A warrior does not seek to understand them, or to compromise with them. He seeks only to obliterate them.” 

You should play: The Rebels! Unfortunately, the switch from First to Second Edition in X-Wing presented an opportunity to bring the game more in line with the Disney canon. But the ubiquity of Legends-era ships meant that a lot had to stay. Dash Rendar in the Outrider, Kyle Katarn in the Moldy Crow…it’s all there for you. Just prepare to be disappointed by Corran Horn’s in-game force sensitivity.

6. Spaceships are cool

In short: You wanna put the “war” in Star Wars. You love the space battles above all else. Honestly I don’t think you need my help buying into this game, it’s perfect for you.

Movie ranking: Rogue One, 6, 5, 4, 3, 8, 7, Solo, 2, 1

Favorite character: Wedge Antilles

Go-to quote: “You may fire when ready.”

You should play: The Rebels or the Empire. Both factions feature a lot of Rogue One-related content, and the Battle of Scarif was like every Super Bowl rolled into one for you.

7. George Lucas Hater

In short: The Prequels ruined Star Wars. A New Hope was saved in the editing room. And Empire Strikes Back is a testament to the combined talents of Larry Kasdan, Irvin Kershner, and Leigh Brackett. J.J. Abrams understands Lucas’s own creation even better than Lucas does.

Movie ranking: 5, 7, 4, 6, 8, Solo, Rogue One

Favorite character: Leia Organa, before she stupidly became Luke’s sister

Go-to quote: “Apology accepted, Captain Needa.”

You should play: The Rebels! Or maybe the Empire. Or you could play Scum. Just whatever is going to kill these blasted Vulture droids fastest, really.

8. Star Wars Omnivore

In short: If Lucasfilm has the copyright, you’re into it. You love the Rebels cartoon as much as Attack of the Clones. It’s all one big story and to prefer certain elements over others would be to deny its continuity.

Movie ranking: You’re more into watch orders.

Favorite character: Jyn Erso/Ahsoka Tano tie

Go-to quote: “May the Force be with you.”

You should play: The Separatists! Tactical droids! Sith lords! The Techno Union! No faction will dip deeper into the weird and wonderful side of the canon than the totally idiosyncratic CIS. You love Darth Maul in all incarnations and will have a blast playing his Sith Interceptor.

Photo credit: The Conmunity – Pop Culture Geek


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